Coffee Table Declarations
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
 
There should be more words for feelings in the English language. What do you call it when you haven't known someone long enough to justifiably love them, but like is simply too inadequate? I've been seeing a new guy and I feel more than like for him, maybe not quite love. Well it couldn't be love, right? So what is it when it feels all crazy and exciting and every time before you go out you feel slightly nauseous because you're so nervous about being perfect all the time or at least perfectly adorable, and when you're with him, just sitting next to him you feel absolutely content and something you vaguely recognize as purely happy although that's a feeling you don't know too well... what is it when you can picture a future with someone but you're afraid to think past the weekend because you have no idea, even though he is sweet and affectionate and nothing if not reliable and drama-free, if he'll ever even call again because you don't know how to trust men and you don't have faith enough in yourself and your ability to inspire the same strange like/love feeling in someone else... what is it when you can't eat and you can't sleep and you feel restless all day because you can't sit still and all you want to do is walk the city streets for hours or just do something to keep moving... what do you call it when you feel so lucky to have finally found something that seems wonderful and you're so terrified of it disappearing and you know that everything is changed and you can't go back to not knowing but you wouldn't anyway... oh yeah and also, though you know it can't logically be true, while you're feeling all of this, you suspect that you are the only person in the history of the world who has ever felt this way before and you could swear that it's certainly different than anything you've ever personally felt before, although you're old enough to know better. Is there a word for the emotion that expresses all of that? There should be.
 
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