When was the last time you had such a big crush on someone that you felt physically ill when they were around? Never? O.K., I guess it's just me then.

Here's the short version: he's new at my work and I've had my eye on him since he came in for his interview. He's shy and sweet and single. Crushing from afar was working out just fine but now he's asked me out to lunch! We were supposed to go Friday but it's been rescheduled to tomorrow.

When I think about going my stomach twists up into knots. What will we talk about? We're both so shy with each other that we've barely exchanged a few words in the whole month he's been there. Now we're supposed to go to lunch, just the two of us? What if I say something stupid? What if I do something stupid?

I read once that people who have anxiety disorders confuse the feelings of excitement with panic. They are physically similar - racing heart, sweating palms, surging adrenaline. I'm supposed to be excited going to lunch with a nice guy and instead I'm gripped by fear. Sometimes I think I'd rather be alone - this stuff is just too hard.  ¶ 8:51 PM