Recently a friend and I innocently stepped into a place to get some lunch and were attacked by onions. Standing at the menu board we both started to feel a familiar stinging sensation in our eyes. We thought someone was cooking or cutting onions behind the counter. The proprieter called us cry babies and opened the door for air. I was confused by this - can people develop an immunity to onions? But I realized later that he thought we were bothered by the smoke from cooking.

As we stood contemplating our orders we were surprised that the onion pain was getting worse and not better. By the time I handed my money to the cashier I was so overwhelmed by onion that I had tears streaming down my face and I could barely open my eyes. The cashier was looking at me curiously and I guess I can't blame her.

Moments later we discovered the source of the problem. Next to the menu board, on a counter, was a large tub of onions stewing in their own juices and inflicting pain on unsuspecting passersby. After we sat down and started to recover we discussed the many mysteries involved in the situation - why were the employees unaffected? Is it possible to adjust or would the pain keep growing worse and worse until it killed you? Why had the guy called us cry babies? Could you use onions as a torture device to glean information from the enemy? And why the heck do onions make you cry anyway? I mean really why? Is there some evolutionary necessity here that I'm just missing? With all the genetic engineering going on these days couldn't someone breed an inoffensive onion? As you can see our onion incident raised some serious questions. But at least our lunch was tasty.  ¶ 9:36 PM