The other night in the bathroom I encountered a bug that makes spiders seem like cuddly puppies. And you know how I feel about spiders. I am going to post a link to what the bug looks like but I want to warn you that the picture is quite graphic. People who are sensitive to the sight of grotesque bugs should proceed at their own risk. Here is the visiting arthropod. I warned you.

I was about to take a shower and I pulled back the curtain to see one of those bad boys sitting in the tub. His body was an inch long but add the legs to that and we're talking a serious problem. I was frozen in fear for a good two minutes while my brain tried to process the situation. Of course no one else was home so I had to deal with it myself. I recently was gifted by my parents a sort of "bug vacuum" which has a long clear tube and looks somewhat like a light saber. You push the button and the offending bug gets sucked into the tube. Of course, then you have to take him someplace and let him out again. I have tried this once so far with a spider and even though there was a thick piece of plastic between him and I, it still felt a little too close for my comfort.

I couldn't bring myself to use the bug vacuum on our multi-legged friend. For one thing, I don't think he would've even fit into the tube without contorting in some horrific way. I opted instead to try drowning him. I turned the shower on until he stopped moving. Then I turned it off, went in the kitchen and made a cup of tea. When I returned to the bathroom I found him crawling around once again. I turned the shower on again and he slid toward the drain (not actually into the drain - he wouldn't fit). Then I ran the water for several minutes directly onto him while loudly muttering "why won't you die?" Doesn't this sound like a gruesome scene from a horror movie?

When the beast was sufficiently waterlogged, I turned the shower off and went about my business. One roommate finally arrived home, but she is just as squeamish as I am. I showed her the result of the carnage and she had to turn away. When our other roommate, the calm environmental loving scientist came home, we assaulted her. The first roommate explained that she had periodically been checking to make sure the bug was still there and he had been twitching. Apparently he had a profound will to live. We dragged my other roommate into the bathroom and gasped to find the bug missing. This cannot be good news for future showers.

My scientific roommate explained that centipedes do not come up from the drain (as I previously thought) but fall into the tub and are unable to get out. The ones people see are the ones that have had the misfortune of falling into the tub... but there are ones people don't see because they RUN REALLY FAST. If that isn't the best news I've heard lately I don't know what is. Yikes!

I don't know why my new apartment is like the nature channel, but it did give me a good idea for a reality show. Instead of making people eat bugs like that (ewwwww, go ahead, take another good look at that picture and then tell me how much I would have to pay you to eat one of those), how about getting bug-phobic people to live in a bug infested apartment for one month. Can you envision the drama?

My nature-loving roommate reminded me that I am bigger and smarter than any bug. But maybe that's the problem isn't it? I mean if the bug had more intelligence and I encountered it as I did, maybe it would say, "Why hello Katie, I was just hanging out here in your bathtub. Sorry if I startled you. Oh were you thinking of taking a shower? Pardon me, let me just get right out of your way" and I would reply, "no please, after you" and there would be harmony throughout the animal kingdom.  ¶ 4:16 PM