It's normal to have mixed feelings about something big changing, right? It is just now hitting me that I am really moving on Friday. Of course I'm excited, but I'm also feeling sad. I've lived in my current place for three years and I've been in close proximity to people who are important to me. (It is now that I hear my mother's voice in my head saying, "Katie, it's not like you're moving to darkest Africa". She used to say that same phrase whenever I was panicking over a trip and what I might forget to pack. She would say, "it's not like you're going to darkest Africa, you can buy a toothbrush if you need to" or "I'm sure they have stores there, you're not going to be in darkest Africa for goodness sakes.")
I've given away half my wardrobe. I am sloughing things off like pieces of myself. Cleaning house, starting fresh. And I'm trying not to think about what I'm leaving behind. It's the end of something, that's for sure. But it is a moving on toward something else. I'm discarding books, candles, little pieces of dead weight that I don't feel like dragging around for the rest of my life. I am saying goodbye in more ways than one. Streamlining. But it is sad. It is hard to let go of things that meant something to me and things that mean something to me still. Some things can't be replaced, even though I'm not going to darkest Africa.