Coffee Table Declarations
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Reflecting on my erstwhile friend and would-be houseguest, I realized how much I have changed since my early 20's when she and I were coworkers and groups of us would meet every Friday night after work for drinking and gossiping and laughing. I no longer have the desire to drink to excess as a regular pastime. I still enjoy a good gossip now and again, but for the most part it's too hurtful and high-schoolish for my liking. And laughter? Well, I'm still all about laughter.
I guess my point is that I don't know how to interact with this person without drinking and talking about our (now former) coworkers. We never had much solid ground to form a real friendship on, and the occasions we got together sober, just the two of us, conversation tended to stall. I realize that I am much more sure of myself and self-accepting than I once was. I am learning to set limits with people, especially those who drain too much energy. Sometimes it takes a situation or person from the past to make you realize that somewhere along the way you've changed.
However, I would like to share with you a story that is a classic example of the fun I used to have in my wild youth. This is one of my favorite most fun stories from that time in my life. The above referenced friend, we'll just call her S, invited me and our friend, B, to her apartment one evening. When B and I arrived, S was well ahead of us in the drinking realm, so B and I started to quickly catch up. We played an uproariously funny game of Truth of Dare which became more and more fun as the night went on. Finally, at the pinnacle of the game, one of us dared B to go into S's room and put on a lovely green dress and then come out and model it for us. Did I mention that B is a guy? He would be so upset with me for telling this story to the world. But anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the green dress.
So B goes off into S's bedroom to change and then S gets a phone call from her boyfriend who is out somewhere and they start fighting. She goes into the bathroom and shuts the door to talk to him. I'm sitting in the living room by myself when suddenly I realize I'm not feeling so well. I run outside to get some air and I sit on the front stoop for quite a while waiting for the world to stop spinning. Meanwhile, as B told it later, he comes out in the pretty green dress, only to find everyone gone. He decides to wait for us to return so he nonchalantly sits on the couch and turns on a sports channel. So he's sitting there engaging in the macho act of watching sports while wearing a very feminine ensemble, and he starts to envision S's boyfriend coming home at just that moment to find, not S herself, but B, just casually sitting in a green dress watching tv. It was at that point that logic kicked in and he realized that maybe we were no longer playing Truth or Dare.
I guess my point is that I don't know how to interact with this person without drinking and talking about our (now former) coworkers. We never had much solid ground to form a real friendship on, and the occasions we got together sober, just the two of us, conversation tended to stall. I realize that I am much more sure of myself and self-accepting than I once was. I am learning to set limits with people, especially those who drain too much energy. Sometimes it takes a situation or person from the past to make you realize that somewhere along the way you've changed.
However, I would like to share with you a story that is a classic example of the fun I used to have in my wild youth. This is one of my favorite most fun stories from that time in my life. The above referenced friend, we'll just call her S, invited me and our friend, B, to her apartment one evening. When B and I arrived, S was well ahead of us in the drinking realm, so B and I started to quickly catch up. We played an uproariously funny game of Truth of Dare which became more and more fun as the night went on. Finally, at the pinnacle of the game, one of us dared B to go into S's room and put on a lovely green dress and then come out and model it for us. Did I mention that B is a guy? He would be so upset with me for telling this story to the world. But anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the green dress.
So B goes off into S's bedroom to change and then S gets a phone call from her boyfriend who is out somewhere and they start fighting. She goes into the bathroom and shuts the door to talk to him. I'm sitting in the living room by myself when suddenly I realize I'm not feeling so well. I run outside to get some air and I sit on the front stoop for quite a while waiting for the world to stop spinning. Meanwhile, as B told it later, he comes out in the pretty green dress, only to find everyone gone. He decides to wait for us to return so he nonchalantly sits on the couch and turns on a sports channel. So he's sitting there engaging in the macho act of watching sports while wearing a very feminine ensemble, and he starts to envision S's boyfriend coming home at just that moment to find, not S herself, but B, just casually sitting in a green dress watching tv. It was at that point that logic kicked in and he realized that maybe we were no longer playing Truth or Dare.
