The other night I had a dream that there was a new law being enforced. Everyone had to wear helmets during meals because plates are dangerous. Well, if you started to argue with your dining companion and they were to suddenly jump up and smash their plate over your head, that might hurt right? Right. Anyway, I felt resentful over always having to show up at dinner in a helmet (which by the way, resembled bike helmets rather than the kind construction workers wear), so I decided to try to design plates made out of rubber that could be used instead. Rubber plates would simply bounce off a person's head and probably wouldn't cause any lasting damage. Don't even get me started on silverware.
  ¶ 4:23 PM