Coffee Table Declarations
Monday, January 31, 2005
I love getting a laugh with my meal. I have these crackers called "Just Wheats". I was reading the side panel and it says "ingredients: wheat". Right below that it says "allergy information: may contain wheat."
No I'm just kidding, it actually says, "allergy information: contains wheat" but I took creative license right there because it would be funnier if it said it may contain wheat. It's still pretty funny though. What kind of idiot out there is going, "hmmm... Just Wheats... these sound like good crackers but you know, I have a strong allergy to wheat... maybe I should just check what it says here..." Worse, you know that they had to add that little disclaimer because someone out there would find a way to sue them if they had an allergic reaction...
Judge: so what you're saying sir, is that you purchased a box of Just Wheats and had an allergic reaction to the wheat they contain.
Stupid Person: that's right your honor, no place on the box was there a warning for people with wheat allergies.
Judge: You're right! We are awarding you ten million dollars.
No I'm just kidding, it actually says, "allergy information: contains wheat" but I took creative license right there because it would be funnier if it said it may contain wheat. It's still pretty funny though. What kind of idiot out there is going, "hmmm... Just Wheats... these sound like good crackers but you know, I have a strong allergy to wheat... maybe I should just check what it says here..." Worse, you know that they had to add that little disclaimer because someone out there would find a way to sue them if they had an allergic reaction...
Judge: so what you're saying sir, is that you purchased a box of Just Wheats and had an allergic reaction to the wheat they contain.
Stupid Person: that's right your honor, no place on the box was there a warning for people with wheat allergies.
Judge: You're right! We are awarding you ten million dollars.
