You know how some people send letters with their Christmas cards? Those generic, typed pages with the first name handwritten next to "Dear__________"? You know how those letters are usually focused on telling all of their friends and loved ones what a wonderful year they've had and what amazing accomplishments their kids have made and how they want everyone to share in the joy of the Christmas spirit? Well, I was thinking, wouldn't it be funny if I sent a Christmas letter along with my Christmas cards this year? It would go something like this.

Dear Friends, Loved Ones, and Loyal Readers,

This year has been very similar to last year. I am still working at the same job, the job I promised myself I would not stay at too long because it's not the best career move. But speaking of career moves, I am on the verge of turning 30 and still absolutely clueless as to what I'd like to spend my life doing. You know, just in case you were wondering. And while we're talking about jobs, I have no money and I'm in debt and I can't escape the nasty letters and phone calls of my creditors. It's awfully depressing but hey, I try not to let it get me down.

Speaking of being down, I did recieve a religious tract from an anonymous peephole blocking psychopath recently. It seems that the answer to all my problems is to find the Lord. It seems that if I don't, I'm on the short road to hell where I'm guessing there are no exciting jobs or lucrative debt forgiveness offers.

Also during the last few months I discovered that I have astronomically high cholesterol and the advice I was given by my doctor is to "watch your diet and exercise" and also to "find the Lord". Since that time I have done very little to further my physical or spiritual health but I have been eating cheerios or oatmeal every morning and that's something right?

I have had some fun in the form of finding activities I enjoy, which are also enjoyed widely by ladies my mother's age. These new pursuits include water aerobics, painting ceramics, and my beloved book club. I have also been the recipient of many an invitation to the sample sales upstairs which have resulted in a fabulous new wardrobe as well as another justification for staying in the same old job.

At work I have endured a year's worth of dreaded weekly meetings and a hundred thousand copier scam phone calls. Worse than all of this however, was my home life during the beginning of the summer. My roommate waged an all out air conditioning war with me only to be defeated by the fact that she moved out and a nice new roommate moved in. Ha!

Anyway, all in all I can't complain. I hope you will all share in the joy of the Christmas spirit.

Happy Holidays everyone!
  ¶ 1:45 PM