Coffee Table Declarations
Thursday, December 16, 2004
We recently got an email at work that there was a collection going on for a local food pantry. The email included a list of things they needed. One very specifically said, "jelly (NOT jello)" apparently jello is a popular donation item - who knew? Anyway, the list included various types of canned goods, other food items, and toiletries. I forwarded the email along to my mom because she is very generous when it comes to this sort of thing.
When I went to my parents' house to collect the donations, my mom gave me two full bags of goods. In the living room however, was a giant carton full of tissue boxes. Apparently my uncle, whose job takes him to various doctors' offices, had obtained the carton and given it to my parents for some reason. So my mom says, "do they need tissues?" and proceeded to hand me the most frightening box of tissues I have ever seen in my life.
The box was decorated with large medical pictures of blood being taken - anonymous rubber gloved hands holding huge vials full of dark red blood. I can't imagine how this would be o.k. for anyone, even doctors. I think it would scare the sneeze right out of me, going to grab a tissue and then "ahhhh!"
So I apprehensively took the box and said "um, well Mom, I don't know... I guess they need tissues..." And my mom cheerfully replied, "they can have all of them! Do you want to take the whole carton?" Quickly I assured her, "No! No, that's o.k. really." We agreed that I would take the one box and if they needed more I could take the rest.
Fast forward to the donation box at work. The coworker who was the behind the scenes organizer of the whole thing just happened to be in the kitchen when I brought my bags in. She was happy to see the donations. I told her they were from my mom and there was just one thing that I wasn't sure the food pantry would want. I pulled out the scary tissues, startling my coworker. She quietly looked at the box for several minutes before saying, "I don't think we should give them these... it's just that um..." "Say no more," I replied, "they are scary. I'll just use them at home or something." But not before I showed them to a few other people who all agreed they were hideous.
I did take the box home and somehow I just haven't been able to bring myself to open it. When I look at it sitting there I hear the scary music and see the lightning flash of standard horror movie settings. Maybe I should just take all the boxes to work and leave them on people's desk for Christmas gifts! Scary tissues - the gift that keeps on giving.
When I went to my parents' house to collect the donations, my mom gave me two full bags of goods. In the living room however, was a giant carton full of tissue boxes. Apparently my uncle, whose job takes him to various doctors' offices, had obtained the carton and given it to my parents for some reason. So my mom says, "do they need tissues?" and proceeded to hand me the most frightening box of tissues I have ever seen in my life.
The box was decorated with large medical pictures of blood being taken - anonymous rubber gloved hands holding huge vials full of dark red blood. I can't imagine how this would be o.k. for anyone, even doctors. I think it would scare the sneeze right out of me, going to grab a tissue and then "ahhhh!"
So I apprehensively took the box and said "um, well Mom, I don't know... I guess they need tissues..." And my mom cheerfully replied, "they can have all of them! Do you want to take the whole carton?" Quickly I assured her, "No! No, that's o.k. really." We agreed that I would take the one box and if they needed more I could take the rest.
Fast forward to the donation box at work. The coworker who was the behind the scenes organizer of the whole thing just happened to be in the kitchen when I brought my bags in. She was happy to see the donations. I told her they were from my mom and there was just one thing that I wasn't sure the food pantry would want. I pulled out the scary tissues, startling my coworker. She quietly looked at the box for several minutes before saying, "I don't think we should give them these... it's just that um..." "Say no more," I replied, "they are scary. I'll just use them at home or something." But not before I showed them to a few other people who all agreed they were hideous.
I did take the box home and somehow I just haven't been able to bring myself to open it. When I look at it sitting there I hear the scary music and see the lightning flash of standard horror movie settings. Maybe I should just take all the boxes to work and leave them on people's desk for Christmas gifts! Scary tissues - the gift that keeps on giving.
