Coffee Table Declarations
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Last night my roommate and I were calmly watching tv in the living room when suddenly there was a loud, aggressive knocking at our door. We both looked at each other. Neither of us was expecting company. Since I was wearing socks I slid quietly across the hardwood floor to peer out the peephole. A dark round shape was obscuring it and I was horrified to realize someone had their finger covering the hole. I slid back across the room and whispered frantically that whoever was out there was COVERING THE PEEPHOLE with their finger.
At first we tried to think if anyone we knew would do something like that as a joke. My roommate even asked me, "did you bounce your rent check?" Meanwhile the pounding on the door continued. We were frozen with indecision. My roommate suggested asking who it was but I thought we should just ignore it and so we waited, exchanging looks of confusion. It was a pretty scary few minutes.
Finally the knocking stopped. After waiting several more minutes, I quietly slid across the floor and once again peered out the peephole. This time the hallway was empty so I decided to quickly open the door just in case it had been an urgent matter of some sort (as the loud, persistent knocking would seem to indicate) and see if anyone left a note or anything.
I opened the door and sure enough something fell to the ground. I picked it up, shut the door, and looked at the pamphlet in my hand. It was a biblical tract. I was completely unnerved. I mean sure, the salvation of one's soul may be considered a particularly urgent matter by some, but does it justify scaring the crap out of two young women alone in their apartment? Covering the peephole is much more sinister than your run of the mill proselytizing trickery.
The tract was from the church around the corner which often has signs out front like before the election when the bold black letters said something about Kerry that I won't repeat here but it involves his pro-choice stance being portrayed in an extremely negative way. My favorite thing the sign ever said was, "Please don't read the bible or attend this church, says Satan." I laughed to myself over how polite that sounded. But I digress. The point is, I am familiar with this church. Several times tracts have been left in the doorway to the building and I've been approached on the way to or from my car by someone handing them out on many occasions. I always smile and thank them and hurry on my way. I always thought they were well intentioned, however misguided. But last night's experience was downright creepy.
For one thing, I don't know how Mr. Fire and Brimstones got into the building. You have to be buzzed in and I've always felt safe because of that. I know someone was in the building a few weeks ago because there were tracts left in the hallways and on people's doors. The fact that this is adding up to more than an isolated incident is unsettling. The other thing that freaks me out is, what would have happened if we had opened the door? And I have to wonder - why did he think covering the peephole would make any difference? Did he think that the fact he would be someone we didn't recognize would make us LESS inclined to open the door than the fact that he was covering the peephole? Who would do something like that?
And what is UP with religions trying to scare people into converting? You should have read this pamphlet. It said things like, "if you try to be a good person in your everyday life and you go to church regularly but you do not accept the son of God, you are most certainly going to Hell." In red lettering it said, "You could die tomorrow" as a motivator for acting now to become saved. Gee, that combined with the covering of the peephole sure makes me want to run right out and convert. Where do I sign up?
I have half a mind to take the tract, write on it with thick black marker, "Proselytizing not allowed" or "Religion not welcome here" and maybe draw a pentagram or two and then tape it to our door. But that would probably just make us an even bigger target for salvation.
At first we tried to think if anyone we knew would do something like that as a joke. My roommate even asked me, "did you bounce your rent check?" Meanwhile the pounding on the door continued. We were frozen with indecision. My roommate suggested asking who it was but I thought we should just ignore it and so we waited, exchanging looks of confusion. It was a pretty scary few minutes.
Finally the knocking stopped. After waiting several more minutes, I quietly slid across the floor and once again peered out the peephole. This time the hallway was empty so I decided to quickly open the door just in case it had been an urgent matter of some sort (as the loud, persistent knocking would seem to indicate) and see if anyone left a note or anything.
I opened the door and sure enough something fell to the ground. I picked it up, shut the door, and looked at the pamphlet in my hand. It was a biblical tract. I was completely unnerved. I mean sure, the salvation of one's soul may be considered a particularly urgent matter by some, but does it justify scaring the crap out of two young women alone in their apartment? Covering the peephole is much more sinister than your run of the mill proselytizing trickery.
The tract was from the church around the corner which often has signs out front like before the election when the bold black letters said something about Kerry that I won't repeat here but it involves his pro-choice stance being portrayed in an extremely negative way. My favorite thing the sign ever said was, "Please don't read the bible or attend this church, says Satan." I laughed to myself over how polite that sounded. But I digress. The point is, I am familiar with this church. Several times tracts have been left in the doorway to the building and I've been approached on the way to or from my car by someone handing them out on many occasions. I always smile and thank them and hurry on my way. I always thought they were well intentioned, however misguided. But last night's experience was downright creepy.
For one thing, I don't know how Mr. Fire and Brimstones got into the building. You have to be buzzed in and I've always felt safe because of that. I know someone was in the building a few weeks ago because there were tracts left in the hallways and on people's doors. The fact that this is adding up to more than an isolated incident is unsettling. The other thing that freaks me out is, what would have happened if we had opened the door? And I have to wonder - why did he think covering the peephole would make any difference? Did he think that the fact he would be someone we didn't recognize would make us LESS inclined to open the door than the fact that he was covering the peephole? Who would do something like that?
And what is UP with religions trying to scare people into converting? You should have read this pamphlet. It said things like, "if you try to be a good person in your everyday life and you go to church regularly but you do not accept the son of God, you are most certainly going to Hell." In red lettering it said, "You could die tomorrow" as a motivator for acting now to become saved. Gee, that combined with the covering of the peephole sure makes me want to run right out and convert. Where do I sign up?
I have half a mind to take the tract, write on it with thick black marker, "Proselytizing not allowed" or "Religion not welcome here" and maybe draw a pentagram or two and then tape it to our door. But that would probably just make us an even bigger target for salvation.
