Coffee Table Declarations
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Saturday night there was a party in the apartment upstairs. The convenience of drinking and not having to drive was enough to motivate my roommate and I to go. The median age range seemed to be recent-college-grads so my small group was older and therefore more composed. I initiated a game of a**hole (which for those who are not familiar, is a drinking game you play with cards). I won every round and when people were amazed by this I told them how I had been the college champion and stated, "hey, everyone's good at something, right?"
It was entertaining watching people get drunk and do stupid things. While we were playing cards a group of girls suddenly ran to the center of the living room floor and started singing loudly along with a Madonna song. It was a bit distracting, but I still won the game.
The strangest drunken occurance by far, however, happened as we were leaving. We encountered a small group in the kitchen who were discussing two girls and which of them were more... ahem... physically endowed. The two girls were standing there, chests thrust out, while other girls looked and grabbed in order to determine the larger of the two, while a couple of guys looked on. They turned to me and asked who I thought was larger and one said, "go ahead, you can touch them." At that point I politely declined, thanked the hostess for inviting me, and left the apartment in a fit of hysterical laughter.
Shortly thereafter I was lying in bed watching SNL when I heard a terrible series of crashes from above. My room literally shook. Moments later my roommate came in and said there had just been a fistfight. I asked what had happened and she recounted how some guy had grabbed one of the girl's breasts (of course, it was the girl who had casually offered me to touch them) and the grabber and the girl's boyfriend got into a major fight breaking all kinds of things and making all kinds of noise. Luckily no one was seriously hurt but now we see what can happen when people drunkenly compare body parts. Remember kids, breast comparison and alcohol do not mix.
It was entertaining watching people get drunk and do stupid things. While we were playing cards a group of girls suddenly ran to the center of the living room floor and started singing loudly along with a Madonna song. It was a bit distracting, but I still won the game.
The strangest drunken occurance by far, however, happened as we were leaving. We encountered a small group in the kitchen who were discussing two girls and which of them were more... ahem... physically endowed. The two girls were standing there, chests thrust out, while other girls looked and grabbed in order to determine the larger of the two, while a couple of guys looked on. They turned to me and asked who I thought was larger and one said, "go ahead, you can touch them." At that point I politely declined, thanked the hostess for inviting me, and left the apartment in a fit of hysterical laughter.
Shortly thereafter I was lying in bed watching SNL when I heard a terrible series of crashes from above. My room literally shook. Moments later my roommate came in and said there had just been a fistfight. I asked what had happened and she recounted how some guy had grabbed one of the girl's breasts (of course, it was the girl who had casually offered me to touch them) and the grabber and the girl's boyfriend got into a major fight breaking all kinds of things and making all kinds of noise. Luckily no one was seriously hurt but now we see what can happen when people drunkenly compare body parts. Remember kids, breast comparison and alcohol do not mix.
