Coffee Table Declarations
Friday, September 10, 2004
The girl who gets some of the office supplies is on vacation this week. Usually, she buys things in bulk that we use regularly. Last Friday before she left, she asked me if I would order a couple of things online since she hadn't gotten to the wholesale store.
"O.K., no problem, what do we need?" I asked, pen in hand.
"Plastic spoons - we're completely out," she replied.
"Plastic spoons, check." I wrote that down.
"Um... we could probably use some more paper plates."
I wrote that down and affirmed, "paper plates, check."
"Oh yeah," she said, "and tampons."
"Tampons??" I replied, "Do they have them?"
"Probably, they have everything."
"O.K." I said and wrote down "tampons".
Earlier this week I was placing the order. Sure enough, they had tampons for sale. The problem was, they only came in cartons of 500. I ordered a carton anyway and the next day it arrived. When boxes arrive, we put them on the table next to my desk and that way people can come and look if they're expecting something. Most things are shipped in simple brown cardboard boxes. The tampons were in a brown cardboard box with large black lettering all over it which said, "TAMPONS". Needless to say, this resulted in many a joke or comment from passersby. My favorite was the guy who picked up the box and said, "Oh good, they're here!"
Meanwhile, they are completely the wrong kind of tampons to suit our needs. This may be a little too much information but we don't have a tampon vending machine in our ladies room (or in our mens room). Instead we have them arranged in a decorative basket near the sink (in the ladies room). Well, these were the kind of tampons that are intended to be loaded into vending machines and were therefore specially wrapped for that purpose and suffice it to say, ended up being a good deal more expensive than if we were to just pick up 500 tampons from the wholesale store. After some consultation amongst ourselves, we decided we didn't need a box of 500 specially wrapped tampons and we would just return them.
When the delivery man came back later I told him we needed to return something. He asked why and so I cheerfully explained that we had ordered a box of 500 tampons because apparently we could only order them in boxes of 500 and we just wouldn't be needing them all. He replied, "Hey, if you can't use them, you can't use them." I struggled not to laugh. Actually, as this story indicates, we CAN use a box of 500 tampons - for comic relief.
"O.K., no problem, what do we need?" I asked, pen in hand.
"Plastic spoons - we're completely out," she replied.
"Plastic spoons, check." I wrote that down.
"Um... we could probably use some more paper plates."
I wrote that down and affirmed, "paper plates, check."
"Oh yeah," she said, "and tampons."
"Tampons??" I replied, "Do they have them?"
"Probably, they have everything."
"O.K." I said and wrote down "tampons".
Earlier this week I was placing the order. Sure enough, they had tampons for sale. The problem was, they only came in cartons of 500. I ordered a carton anyway and the next day it arrived. When boxes arrive, we put them on the table next to my desk and that way people can come and look if they're expecting something. Most things are shipped in simple brown cardboard boxes. The tampons were in a brown cardboard box with large black lettering all over it which said, "TAMPONS". Needless to say, this resulted in many a joke or comment from passersby. My favorite was the guy who picked up the box and said, "Oh good, they're here!"
Meanwhile, they are completely the wrong kind of tampons to suit our needs. This may be a little too much information but we don't have a tampon vending machine in our ladies room (or in our mens room). Instead we have them arranged in a decorative basket near the sink (in the ladies room). Well, these were the kind of tampons that are intended to be loaded into vending machines and were therefore specially wrapped for that purpose and suffice it to say, ended up being a good deal more expensive than if we were to just pick up 500 tampons from the wholesale store. After some consultation amongst ourselves, we decided we didn't need a box of 500 specially wrapped tampons and we would just return them.
When the delivery man came back later I told him we needed to return something. He asked why and so I cheerfully explained that we had ordered a box of 500 tampons because apparently we could only order them in boxes of 500 and we just wouldn't be needing them all. He replied, "Hey, if you can't use them, you can't use them." I struggled not to laugh. Actually, as this story indicates, we CAN use a box of 500 tampons - for comic relief.
