Coffee Table Declarations
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Forget what I said earlier - this new "next blog" feature is out of control.
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Every summer for a week my parents go away to the darkest woods of New Hampshire where there are no phones or other modern amenities. Every summer I dread this week because I don't like feeling that I can't reach them. Every summer on the day that they leave, my mom gives me a pep talk. "You're a grown-up. You'll be fine. You can take care of yourself." And I know it's true yet part of me feels really uncertain about that and I hate feeling that way.
Every summer my mom agrees to call me from the one payphone two separate nights at 7pm. This year the designated time comes and goes and I still don't hear from her. Apprehensively, I wonder if she's forgotten. I tell myself it's no big deal. Then the phone rings and relief washes over me. I say, "Mom, I thought you forgot about me," and try to laugh it off. But then she says sincerely, "That would never happen. You are my daughter, I could never forget about you." And I believe her. And it reminds me of being in kindergarten.
In kindergarten I would cry every day when it was time to go home. I thought my mom would forget to pick me up. Other kids would rush outside to greet their parents but where was my mom? She had another child who got to stay at home with her all day. Maybe she'd forget about me because of him. But sure enough another kid would turn to me and say, "don't cry Katie, there's your mom." And the relief would wash over me. And my mother would look me in the eye and tell me sincerely, "You are my daughter, I will never forget about you." And I believed her then until the next afternoon. And I'll believe her now until next summer.
* * * * *
Every summer for a week my parents go away to the darkest woods of New Hampshire where there are no phones or other modern amenities. Every summer I dread this week because I don't like feeling that I can't reach them. Every summer on the day that they leave, my mom gives me a pep talk. "You're a grown-up. You'll be fine. You can take care of yourself." And I know it's true yet part of me feels really uncertain about that and I hate feeling that way.
Every summer my mom agrees to call me from the one payphone two separate nights at 7pm. This year the designated time comes and goes and I still don't hear from her. Apprehensively, I wonder if she's forgotten. I tell myself it's no big deal. Then the phone rings and relief washes over me. I say, "Mom, I thought you forgot about me," and try to laugh it off. But then she says sincerely, "That would never happen. You are my daughter, I could never forget about you." And I believe her. And it reminds me of being in kindergarten.
In kindergarten I would cry every day when it was time to go home. I thought my mom would forget to pick me up. Other kids would rush outside to greet their parents but where was my mom? She had another child who got to stay at home with her all day. Maybe she'd forget about me because of him. But sure enough another kid would turn to me and say, "don't cry Katie, there's your mom." And the relief would wash over me. And my mother would look me in the eye and tell me sincerely, "You are my daughter, I will never forget about you." And I believed her then until the next afternoon. And I'll believe her now until next summer.
