Actual statement said by me the other night: "I can't find my jelly." It was true. I wanted to make a pb & j sandwich to bring to work for lunch and I had everything lined up and ready to go - bread on the counter, peanut butter open next to it, but where was my jelly? I just bought jelly! It's rasberry jelly and I used it last week. Where could my jelly be? Jelly doesn't just get up and walk away. I searched through my fridge multiple times to no avail. Finally I gave up and had to settle on cereal for lunch instead.

Last night the missing jelly mystery led me to realize that it was high time I cleaned out the fridge. I pulled up a chair, grabbed a trashbag, and went to work. There was yogurt that expired last month, produce on the verge of becoming a science project, and no less than half a dozen tupperware containers full of dinners past.

I felt really angry when I discovered many things my roommate carelessly left when she moved out. Nothing really gross, but quite obviously things I would have no use for. It was bad enough she left rodent sized dust balls in her old bedroom and her bathroom shelf covered in hair. And it's not like she moved far - she's living upstairs now. I hear her clomping around overhead all the time. You'd think she'd have the courtesy to clean up her unwanted detritus considering she might run into me on the stairs or in the laundry room. For a moment I fantasized about gathering up her unsavory foodstuffs and leaving them outside her door. The evil scheming was interrupted however when I found my jelly. It was behind a block of cheese and a package of hummus.
  ¶ 5:04 PM