I just realized with alarm that my scissors are missing. Someone stole my scissors! I got up and searched for them and found a different pair. They work pretty well, but I'm sorry to say there's something... sticky on the blades. I'm sure it's just glue, but still. Anyway, a coworker walked by and I asked her if she had seen my scissors. She pointed out that I was using a pair and I said, "well these ones are a bit subpar." She and I laughed and then she went on her way. For a split second I felt sorry for the sticky scissors. I hadn't intended to hurt their feelings. But then I realized that luckily, scissors don't know what "subpar" means. Yes, Mondays are hard.  ¶ 2:38 PM