Coffee Table Declarations
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
I know that winning isn't everything. But it sure feels good! Last week my company had a party and we played some games. One of them was trivia about my company and I knew a good deal of the answers as the questions seemed relevant to me (like, how many fish are there in the fish tank?) My team ended up winning and they acknowledged that it was in large part because of me! Hey, you have to be good at SOMEthing, right? I know Pinky would be proud.
* * * * *
My new roommate calls me Betty Crocker because I'm always cooking. Ha ha! No one has ever called me that in my life. All of my cooking is purely experimental and not everyone would agree that it's good.
Nevertheless, last night I attempted to make some soup (yes, homemade - not from a can). It had chicken and rice in it and it called for poultry seasoning. I don't know what poultry seasoning consists of (the ingredients on the label simply say "spices") so rather than try to recreate it with spices I already have, I bought a small container of this mystery substance just for this recipe.
It came time to add the poultry seasoning, so I picked up the little container and noticed... it had already been opened! I tried to think if I was going crazy. I had either opened it myself and forgot, or bought an already opened container. Either one spells crazy in my book. I asked my roommate if she had opened it for any reason. She laughed right out loud, as her cooking doesn't extend beyond tuna fish sandwiches, mac and cheese from a box, and cereal.
Knowing that I had bought the poultry seasoning exclusively for this soup, I realized that I must have bought an already opened container. Now why, if you were in the grocery store, would you pick up a container of poultry seasoning, rip the plastic off the top, unscrew the cap, and tear off the little plastic covering? Was someone having some sort of poultry emergency right there in the grocery store? Or was foul play involved? After all, childhood memories of razor blades in Halloween candy and a general suspicion that anything could be tainted, are firmly ingrained in my mind. I told my roommate I wasn't going to use the seasoning, because someone could've put drugs in it. At that point I had to laugh at how silly that sounded. Why anyone would go to the trouble of sneaking drugs into poultry seasoning and giggling maniacally while envisioning an entire family tripping on their turkey dinner, is beyond me. But I still wouldn't use that particular container of poultry seasoning. And I have learned my lesson - from now on I am going to be much more careful not to buy tampered-with condiments.
* * * * *
My new roommate calls me Betty Crocker because I'm always cooking. Ha ha! No one has ever called me that in my life. All of my cooking is purely experimental and not everyone would agree that it's good.
Nevertheless, last night I attempted to make some soup (yes, homemade - not from a can). It had chicken and rice in it and it called for poultry seasoning. I don't know what poultry seasoning consists of (the ingredients on the label simply say "spices") so rather than try to recreate it with spices I already have, I bought a small container of this mystery substance just for this recipe.
It came time to add the poultry seasoning, so I picked up the little container and noticed... it had already been opened! I tried to think if I was going crazy. I had either opened it myself and forgot, or bought an already opened container. Either one spells crazy in my book. I asked my roommate if she had opened it for any reason. She laughed right out loud, as her cooking doesn't extend beyond tuna fish sandwiches, mac and cheese from a box, and cereal.
Knowing that I had bought the poultry seasoning exclusively for this soup, I realized that I must have bought an already opened container. Now why, if you were in the grocery store, would you pick up a container of poultry seasoning, rip the plastic off the top, unscrew the cap, and tear off the little plastic covering? Was someone having some sort of poultry emergency right there in the grocery store? Or was foul play involved? After all, childhood memories of razor blades in Halloween candy and a general suspicion that anything could be tainted, are firmly ingrained in my mind. I told my roommate I wasn't going to use the seasoning, because someone could've put drugs in it. At that point I had to laugh at how silly that sounded. Why anyone would go to the trouble of sneaking drugs into poultry seasoning and giggling maniacally while envisioning an entire family tripping on their turkey dinner, is beyond me. But I still wouldn't use that particular container of poultry seasoning. And I have learned my lesson - from now on I am going to be much more careful not to buy tampered-with condiments.
